The Beautiful Ninja Host Club!
by ragamuffin009
Summary: Ouran High School Host Club crossover! Kankuro screws it up the first time, but when he gets a second chance with Haruhi, will he blow it? Or will this story end in a kiss? Renge and Kyouya are evil geniuses and Gaara and Hani eat cookies. Nekozawa rocks!


Author: Listening to MSI while writing this? Ho boy, this is going to turn out weird.

Narrator: …

Author: Are you pissed off because Kankuro is the main character again?

Narrator: YES.

Author: …So anyway! Once upon a time…

* * *

"What is that thing?" Kaoru poked the large metal contraption.

"It appears to be a virtual reality matrix generator," Kyouya said, pushing up his glasses.

"Ah." The twins said in unison, continuing to poke the machine that had suddenly appeared in the music room that afternoon.

"What's a virtual real-titly matrix genter-ator?" Hani asked, pulling on Kyouya's sleeve.

"It's a machine that affects your senses to make you think you're in a different universe… Like a video game."

"How do you know that's one, senpai?" Haruhi asked, tilting her head.

"My family recently acquired a company that develops them."

"Oh," She said, staring at the machine.

"Oh, _mom_!" Tamaki exclaimed, "Let's use it right now! It will be _some_ entertainment!"

Kyouya sighed. "All right, dad. To use it, you just flick the red switch."

"Tamaki-senpai, do you really think that's such a good-"

* * *

Foooooooooooom!

* * *

Gaara looked surprised at the group of (seemingly) boys sprawled out on the red carpet of the main hall. "Who are you?" He asked, eyeing them.

"I am Suou Tamaki, the Prince of the Ouran Academy Host Club. We-"

"Whoa, Gaara, I didn't know you had guests," Kankuro said, sticking his head out of the door to his room.

"They aren't my guests. They must be here for Temari." He turned to Tamaki. "I am Sakabu no Gaara, the Godaime Kazekage. Are you here as my sister's guests? And why are you all on the floor?"

"We fell," said Kaoru, picking himself up.

"From the sky. Oops!" Hikaru said, 'accidentally' falling on Kaoru.

"This is some weird virtual reality," Haruhi said, dusting herself off.

"Virtual?" Kankuro said, still mostly in the shadows of his room.

"This is strange," Kyouya muttered, "It seems this is actually a different universe. A real one."

"Gaara, what was that noise?" Temari asked, stepping out from a different room. Immediately the Host Club sprang into action.

"My lady, we did not mean to disturb you," Tamaki said, taking her hand.

"Oh," Temari said, blushing. "You didn't disturb me one bit."

"Ah, your voice is beautiful, like a drop of rain falling into a pool…"

"Gaara," she said quickly, "I like these guys. Can they stay with us?"

"…Sure," Gaara muttered.

"Great," said Kaoru.

"Oi, servant boy." Hikaru said, pointing at Kankuro. "I'm thirsty."

"S-S-S-SERVANT BOY?!" The door slammed open and Kankuro stormed out. "I-AM-NOT-A-SERVANT!"

"Calm down, brother." Gaara said, patting him on the head.

"_They just called me a servant! I'm his older brother!"_ he roared at Hikaru.

"Sorry, you just look so… Common."

* * *

Eventually, the Hosts (mainly Kyouya) explained their situation.

"That's completely impossible." Everyone turned towards Kankuro, who was back in his room.

"That guy reminds me of Nekozawa," Hikaru whispered to Kaoru.

"Oh really?" Kyouya said to Kankuro, striding towards his room, "And what makes you say that?"

"A little thing I like to call logic," he said, taking a step back.

"Kankuro! Don't be mean to out guests!" Temari giggled as Tamaki fawned over her.

"Temari, you only like them because they're…_ Fondling_ you. Which I don't understand."

"_Fondling!_ Why, I would do no such thing to a _lady…_" He continued to work his princely magic on her.

* * *

_Later on…

* * *

_

"My… my laptop…" Kyouya mumbled, "My laptop, it's… Broken…"

"So?" said the twins.

"My laptop! Noooo!"

"Oi, oi. Calm down."

* * *

"I like cake, Gaa-chan, do you like cake?" Hani asked Gaara.

"I like… Cookies." The Kazekage's eyes glazed over.

"I love cookies! Usa-chan does too!" He held up the bunny.

"Oh, really? Walk with me, talk with me." Gaara led the blonde away towards the kitchen, taking out his stuffed bear. Mori followed them.

* * *

Haruhi wandered over to Kankuro's room. She looked inside, and saw him working on one of his puppets. "What are you doing?"

He looked up, surprised. "Um… Working on a puppet…" He mumbled. "So… Why is a girl like you with all of those jerky men?"

"A puppet? And… You know I'm a girl?"

"It's a ninja tool… and yeah, it's really obvious." He went back to work.

She blinked. "Ninja?"

He laughed a little. "Maybe that glasses guy_ was_ telling the truth. You'd _have_ to be from a different universe to not know what a ninja is!"

"I know what a ninja is; it's just that, where we're from, there aren't any!"

"No ninja? Who are the bodyguards, what is your government like? Here, ninja run everything."

"Well, there are politicians who do that… So, are you a ninja?"

"Of course I am," he said, grinning, "I'm the Puppet Master of Sunagakure."

"The… Puppet Master?"

"Yeah, I'm the best there is." Once again, he went back to work.

"Aren't you conceited?" She smiled and sat down. "Tell me more, it sounds interesting."

"Only if you tell me more about your school. All we have here is the ninja academy. Nothing like that Host Club thing."

"Well…"

* * *

"Temari, we're bored and out of cookies. Let's go to Konoha. Interesting things always seem to happen to us over there," Gaara said, as Hani climbed up on his shoulders.

"Good," said the twins, "We're bored too. What's Konoha?"

"Konoha is another village like Suna."

"Only Suna is way better," Kankuro said, opening the door for Haruhi before coming out himself. Tamaki looked up in shock.

"H-Haruhi, were you in there, with a boy, ALONE?!"

"Yeah, so? We were just talking."

"No! A lady mustn't be alone in a room with a boy!"

"Do you really think I'd be so low as to try anything?" Kankuro growled. Lightning flashed in between their eyes.

"Konoha. Now." Gaara demanded, breaking them up.

* * *

"Why is it so _hot?_" Tamaki said, sweating.

"It's the freaking desert, genius!" Kankuro muttered under his breath.

"Couldn't we just take a car?" Hikaru asked.

"Or a limo?" said Kaoru.

"A what or a what now?" Temari tilted her head.

"Oh, Haruhi, are those the things you were telling me about?" Kankuro asked, shifting his puppet. Tamaki got an anger pulse.

"Yes, they are. Kaoru, Hikaru, they don't have cars here."

"No cars?! How do you get around?!"

"Um, we _walk._ You have legs; use them," Kankuro said, sounding irritated.

"This guy doesn't seem to like people that much," Kaoru whispered to Hikaru.

* * *

_A couple of days later…

* * *

_

"We're here!" Temari shouted.

"He-hey, it's the Sand squad!" Naruto exclaimed, jumping down from a building.

**A: True Naruto style reference!!! **

"Hey, Naruto," Kankuro greeted him.

"Hello, Naruto," said Gaara.

"Who are those guys? And why are they all dressed the same?"

"These are our new friends. From another continent," Temari said quickly.

"We're going to see the old lady," Kankuro added.

"Oh. She's in her office, drunk as usual, 'ttebayo. I'll be at Ichiraku's if you need me." He ran off.

"The old lady?" Asked Kyouya.

"She's the Hokage, the leader of Konoha…" Gaara said, walking towards the tower.

"You'll see," Kankuro said, following him.

* * *

A: And there you have it, Tamaki and Kankuro hate each other. And –gasp- what of Kyouya's laptop?!

N: Find out next time!


End file.
